We have a NEW MEMBER joining the young+creatives team! Sarah Haines, joined the team as our Media Coordinator.
This week on young+creatives Christian and Sarah discuss what their self care routine looks like. How it has affected their daily life, and offer different tools and tips that can easily be applied to your daily life.
In this episode of young+creatives we cover several key topics including:
- Focus on how far you’ve come ()
- Realizing that pain is apart of the process ()
- You won’t always be motivated, choose discipline ()
- Being intentional ()
- Healing comes from the acknowledging the pain ()
- Get back up ()
- Patience is apart of the process ()
- Your perception will change the outcome of your life ()
- Take a step back from being the main character ()
- There is beauty in being vulnerable ()
- Take time to reflect & meditate ()
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young+creatives serves as a networking opportunity to tell your story. We strive to curate a space to promote your passion, and we’d love to hear all about it.
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Christian Payton 00:00
On today’s episode, we’re gonna be going over pretty much how do you take care of yourself emotionally, mentally, physically? I guess financially we can touch on that, like if the opportunity presents itself. Yeah, we’ll just dive right in. Here our vision marketing group, our team of young professionals get creative with youth in mind. We strive to educate, inspire and promote authentic creativity across all job fields. This is young creative, guys. Welcome back to the podcast today. We have two members from the revision team. Me Christian and then we also have our newest hire Sarah Haines. She is our new marketing coordinator. How are you Sarah? Doing pretty good excited about today’s episode?
Sarah Haines 00:45
Yes. First time ever. Yeah, pretty excited. Definitely
Christian Payton 00:48
gonna knock it out of the park. So how do you feel like you take care of yourself?
Sarah Haines 00:54
Well, just like day to day, I definitely have a routine. And I think that’s really one of the things that’s like kept me going when it comes to taking care of myself is like no matter how I’m feeling, I’m like, I need to do these like five things today. Yeah. And so like writing them down ahead of time definitely helps. But just pretty much moving throughout the day, like exercising at some point, whether it’s like actually running or yoga, or just like going on a walk. It kind of keeps me where I’m not distracted by my phone distracted by all these other things.
Christian Payton 01:25
Yeah. I think that you said something about routine. I think that’s really good. Because for a while when I didn’t have routine, I was like, my life is all over the place. It was just chaotic. And it was easy for me to like, I guess, like get down on myself, because I wasn’t doing anything that I felt was super productive. But when you said, writing stuff down, that has helped me a lot. So within the past, I guess like month, I’ve been super busy. And so my phone between my phone my Google like, what is it? What do we use calendar? Reminders. We do have a lot of systems. And then the reminders on my phone, it’s like, okay, well, it’s like helping me like, create a routine because at the beginning of the year, it was like, I want to start all this stuff. But then there was no like organization or like, I didn’t know like what I should do first or, but now I’m getting a hang of it. So I think that’s like helped me be proactive, I guess when it comes to like getting a getting a kickstart on health is like a part of your health.
Sarah Haines 02:36
Yeah, definitely. Because it’s like, once I’m feeling, I think underlying one, somebody is confident in themselves. And they treat themselves kindly that totally reflects on how they treat other people.
Christian Payton 02:46
So to you what does it mean to like, take care of yourself? Or why is it important?
Sarah Haines 02:52
Well, it’s like mental health is about the environment, you’re in a lot of the time, right? So if you put yourself in a good headspace, that’s part of your environment to like how you see everything, just like when I’m feeling really insecure. Like, I find myself reading into what other people say, and how they interact with me. Like, I mainly am like, oh, they are criticizing me, instead of it being constructive criticism. Yeah, like they’re just straight up. Like, they don’t like me. And it’s because I’m thinking back, it’s because I lacked this, this and this, all the things I’m already insecure about. And so just definitely reflects for
Christian Payton 03:26
me, and having a routine has helped you get out of those spaces in life. Yeah, definitely.
Sarah Haines 03:30
It’s like, again, going back to take care of yourself is kindness. And then also like, just making yourself feel good. We know what like science to with yawning and moving your body to me, like that’s the first thing I do pretty much when I wake up, like I’ve gone through times, especially like the last this past year, where I’ve been just slowly kind of building up my confidence to finally actually like, do something like this, which is get a new job. Yeah. And to me, that’s been kind of my goal, like the last few years. I know that it’s just been such a mental break. Like I think just environment I was raised in like, all these things leading up to like, this last month has been mean just solely being like, take care of yourself. Like, don’t assume things about situations you know nothing about because you’re insecure. Like I just don’t, I’m always thinking, Oh, well, you know, they don’t, I’m not what they’re looking for. I can’t fulfill these roles. Yeah, you know, and then it’s always on the assumption of just like, I think I know how something’s gonna be. It’s like, you’re not even in that situation yet, which is why you’re scared. It’s like this weird circle.
Christian Payton 04:35
Yeah. That you’ll constantly live in until you just decide to like, I guess have faith and then step by step out on that. Yeah. So you mentioned like running and doing yoga. And is that something you’ve always been into?
Sarah Haines 04:48
No, well, okay, so in high school, I was homeschooled. So my dad started like a little homeschool track team. So I did that my senior year was a little bit later on in the game and then after that, I stopped Just running kind of recreationally just like to make myself feel good. And I really hated it. I thought it was terrible. I had bad running shoes. I think that’s part of it. Like I would get hurt all the time. Like I just was always in pain. And I was just like, I just don’t think my body’s meant to do this. Yeah. I don’t like, I don’t know, I think that I just felt really insecure even about running. Like, I would feel anxious before I’d go out and run even though I was just running by myself. Like, it wasn’t like I was trying to perform for anyone, but I just felt inadequate, so defeated before you even started. Exactly. And it again goes back to the mind games and like how you see yourself I think, too, but I don’t know running is a lot about mental, like breakthroughs.
Christian Payton 05:43
Yeah, my mom is like really big into fitness. And so that’s something that she always says is, don’t really focus on like, what’s ahead of you, like, think about, like what you’ve already accomplished as far as like, even like with running. So like, if you have to run a mile, I don’t think like I have to run like, at like another half mile. Like think about like the half my half mile you’ve already like, like finished. And like that really helps. It hasn’t really helped me with my running. But I’m like, I mean, I guess in a sense it has. But yeah, like, that’s some advice that she always gives, like, Do you have any advice that you would give as far as like, specifically when it comes to running?
Sarah Haines 06:21
What I used to do is, I would say kind of the idea of what your mom was saying where it’s, you know, you remember, you kind of think back okay, well, I’ve already gone this far. I can go more. Yeah. And along those lines, I would say, um, yeah, I can make it to that lamppost over there. But then I’m done. Like, I can just stop after that. Yeah. And it was almost if I knew I wasn’t going to stop, but I just told myself, just get over there. And then I would get there and be like, I can do another lamppost. And so I kind of just built up from that. And yeah, then further, you know, every
Christian Payton 06:48
time it’s a mind literally as a mind thing. Yeah, I think so
Sarah Haines 06:51
you are probably going to be in pain for no intense pain, but uncomfortability Yeah, you know, during most of your run, yeah. And that’s just because obviously, your body and muscles are moving and working hard. And so I think that it’s realizing that pain is part of the process, and that it can actually feel good in a way because it is an accomplishment. And so to me, it was just kind of like push a little bit more every time. And I felt like that definitely helps me build up my endurance. And then from endurance comes like, you know, getting faster or having a certain goal in mind.
Christian Payton 07:26
How do you feel like someone? Or how have you been able to, like become more consistent in like your journey of working out? I will say,
Sarah Haines 07:35
Well, I’ve gone through phases, like ever since high school, graduating high school, it’s been like six years, I guess? No, I’ve been through phases where I’ve not ran, you know, and kind of tried some other things. But I’ve always kind of come back to it. And I think it’s just the idea that, like, I’m able to clear my head. And it’s something that I’m kind of familiar with, I think that the way I’ve been able to be consistent is just to remind myself, that pain is part of it. And that the pain, there’s a result to that. It’s not like I’m physically putting myself through like torture or like, you know, getting like a bunch of piercings or tattoos. Yeah, no, it’s not like that kind of pain. Yeah. But it’s like the Yeah, the idea that it’s just pain is part of the process. It’s like purposeful pain. Yeah, exactly. Like that purposeful pain, just like you can’t avoid it in life, you know? And it’s yeah, it’s like, just like putting yourself in an uncomfortable situation, like something new, like a new job or something like that. Or even like going to new school or something like that. It’s just going to be you’re just going to have to make yourself be uncomfortable sometimes. Yeah. Because then you’re able to practice and just get better.
Christian Payton 08:47
So with that, as I’m like, in a bunch of like Facebook groups, and so one of them is like women that work out or want to start working out. And a question that a lot of the woman asked all the time is like, how do I like how do I become motivated? Or how do I stay motivated? Yeah. And like, a lot of the conversation that happens after that question asked is, you’re not always going to be motivated. That’s why you have to have discipline. Do you agree with that? Oh,
Sarah Haines 09:13
yeah, definitely. I think it’s, again, it goes back to, like, you know, pain is part of the process. And also, I don’t I just know how good I feel after my runs. I know how good I feel throughout the day, because I got up early and ran. And I think that’s really
Christian Payton 09:30
that’s such a nice, like thought process to me. Yeah, it’s
Sarah Haines 09:34
just like the thing that I crave, like, actually didn’t run this morning because I wanted to sleep in a little bit longer. Yeah, so I just did like yoga. But the same time I’m kind of feeling like I didn’t my body so you feel it now. I kind of feel that like, I don’t feel as good. I feel like as I usually do. Yeah. Sometimes I’ll worry that I put a little too much pressure on them. Like, I don’t think that like all of a sudden I’m fat today because yeah, right Mike? My muscles are deteriorating or something like that? Or I’ve lost all my, like, endurance. Yeah, from not running one day, but it definitely is like, I think just because I’ve been so consistent like the last six months,
Christian Payton 10:11
they say it takes 21 days to like form a habit. i That’s not true. It’s not true. Because I remember I started doing like personal training last year, for three weeks. And even after that, I was like, Oh, it was four months of not four months, it was four weeks, so a month. But then even after that, I was like, I don’t have to keep doing this. So I’m like, it definitely takes longer than 21 days. That sounds great. But after 21 days, it’s like, no, it’s takes longer than that. For me, at the beginning of the year, I said that I wanted to, like start back working out, because two or three years ago, worked out a lot. I told you, I worked at Orangetheory. I worked out a lot. And then my family just like works out. And I think from now I think I know, that was like an expectation because my mom does bodybuilding and and so it’s my older sister, everybody’s like, are you gonna do it? And then me being me, I’m like, No, but it was literally because I wanted to do it. And I didn’t want to do it in spite of them. And so I’m like, but that’s really like causing havoc in your personal life, like you’re choosing like not to do anything active because you’re like, you don’t want to like fall in their shadows. That makes sense. So that’s something that I like started, I would battle it. So I stopped working out for a while. And then I just started back. And that’s what you were saying. It really does like affect your day. So right now I’m like going on my lunch break to Well, every, like three days out of the week, I go on my lunch break to work out. And it really gives me something to look forward to. So in the morning, I’m like when I’m getting ready for work. I’m like, Okay, well, I don’t have to work out today. So I’m like packing my bag to go work out. Like it just gives me something to look forward to. And then even after, like coming back to work, I feel better. Because going into it. It’s like, oh my gosh, I have to work some days. It’s like, oh my god, I have to work out. But then even after you just kind of like feel like you’ve accomplished something, especially on the days when you like really just don’t want to do it, you’re doing it because like you’ve told yourself, you’re going to do it instead of when you like last week when I was like do I want to go work out and you were like, it’s literally an hour of your day. So those days it like I just feel like it’s it feels so much better. And it’s worth so much more because you just really don’t want to do it. And you still push past like that feeling of not wanting to. And then I actually read like quite a bit not as much now because I’m super busy. But I read, one of the books that I’m reading right now is a change agent, or it’s pretty much a self help. I like to read self help books. So it’s pretty much a self help book about this. Sports. Well, she’s an attorney, but she’s also a sports agent. And she’s pretty much like giving you tips and practical practical tools that you can use to like become ultimately have the success that you want to have like in your life. So I like reading a lot of books like that. And then something i i started meal prepping, I’d hate meal prepping, it’s so much easier to like pick up food on the way home or like for lunch. But that’s like a lot of money. So it adds up really quickly. So that’s something else that I’ve been like trying to do consistently. Because you could do it within like you fall off the bandwagon. And then it’s so easy to like, stay off. So like really just like building the routine to do it consistently. I think that’s the word. That’s really the word like routine. And then intentionally because if you’re not really doing it for the right reason, then it’s so much easier to like give up on it. Yeah, or burnout. Like, even with working out, I feel like a lot of people they work out because like they want to, like look better, but then like, that’s not enough because, like once you start to see those changes, you’re gonna stop. So if you don’t have like a reason other than like, your physical, then it’s like, like, you’re gonna stop any day now. So I think that’s like really big as far as like taking care of yourself, like being intentional about like, why you want to, like see these results or like, why you’re doing what you’re doing.
Sarah Haines 14:18
Or even remembering that like, what is like reality versus expectation. Yeah. So people will work out because they want to look good. But yeah, turns out, sometimes your body is just not meant to look a certain way. Exactly. You know, like, I’ve had to come to that conclusion a lot myself, like going through a lot of like stuff with food and like having a relationship with food. Yeah. And then having a bad relationship with working out. And then finally kind of coming to that conclusion that although it’s not bad to have goals, I think it is so much more about like being strong and healthy sort of
Christian Payton 14:55
working out with my new like, trainer, I guess I walked in on the first day, and I was so excited. And she was like, Why are you so excited? And I was like, Well aside from your drink, and like, see for energy, because you know, those, like, get you pumped up. I just knew that, like my reasoning for wanting to work out this time. Other than that, rather than the other times, it was just very different. Like my mindset was different. So I think that, really it does a lot of it has to do with like, being kind to yourself, which is the first thing that you said. Because that in return, like, affects how you go into almost everything that you do in your life, and the relationships that you have with other people. I meditate, which is Yeah, well, I tried to meditation and prayer are like very similar to me. I think that just like focusing your breath, and like, spending time with your thoughts is super important. So that’s another way that’s, that’s something else that I do to take care of myself.
Sarah Haines 15:52
It’s really a big part of like yoga for me too.
Christian Payton 15:55
Yeah, just being mindful of like, how you feel I was telling someone, maybe this weekend, I don’t like not knowing like how I feel like if I’m put in a situation and like, uncertain of like how I feel about someone or like something, I don’t want any part of it, because I’m so aware of like myself, and like how I feel. So when I get put in those situations, I’m like, and I’m uncomfortable, not just like being uncomfortable, because I’m like, shy or nervous, but like you make me feel uncertain. I want no part of it. And so I think meditation and like prayer, and just like spending time with yourself or even yoga. It just helps you focus and center your thoughts so that you’re even more aware of like, how you feel and like why you feel that way. And yeah, that’s huge. For me, that’s really, really big for me. And then I also feel a different when I’m not praying or meditating or kinda yoga, because even at the place that I go to now, where I’m working out, like you have to do certain like, it’s like yoga, it’s at the very beginning. So stretching, so stretching at the very beginning, like they do, like certain posts, like yoga poses at the very beginning. So, yeah, I’m trying to like, I’m incorporating all these new things in my life all at once. I’m like, that’s why I’m crazy, right? Maybe
Sarah Haines 17:11
also, it’s just that you’ve been needing to do new things. Yeah, we’ve been feeling really stagnant. Like, that’s kind of how I’ve been feeling.
Christian Payton 17:18
Yeah. Have you ever practiced like meditation? Or is that like yoga for you? Um,
Sarah Haines 17:23
I haven’t like, like practices and and just like then meditation. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Usually, it’s at the beginning of the little yoga classes that I do. It’s all on YouTube. So free. Yeah. I use the called boho, beautiful. It’s just a YouTube channel on you. Okay, on YouTube, okay, their name is boho, beautiful. And they’re really cool. Like a couple that just does yoga stuff at the beginning. They always have like, a few minutes of like, getting your thoughts centered. And then whenever they have you in shavasana at the end, when you’re just laying down flat, then they have you like meditate a little bit more. Like you can stay longer if you want to.
Christian Payton 18:03
Yeah, okay, that’s hard though. Like meditation so hard because we live in like, such a like, fast paced like busy, like, consumer world, and our attention spans are so short. So even spending like 10 minutes with your own thoughts. It’s like, Okay, I gotta get up and do something. So like, and I think a big misconception with meditation is like, you have to like focus your thoughts and not think about anything, but that’s not the point of yoga of
Sarah Haines 18:28
nothingness. Yeah, can’t possibly think of nothing. No,
Christian Payton 18:31
I don’t even think that’s the point. Like you’re doing some at all. You’re supposed to like embrace your thoughts like or that’s what I do at least so I don’t know if I’m doing it wrong, but like I just embrace the thoughts that come to me because once you do that, like then like you can clear your mind but trying to like ignore stuff is only gonna like pick at you more, I think. Yeah, that’s been my experience.
Sarah Haines 18:53
Definitely like the boho beautiful people. They give like a visual representation or visual scene I guess scenario where it’s like you know, the thoughts come by whether negative or positive and you reach and you grab them and then you look at it examine it is this worthy time or emotion and then you just let it go, but at least acknowledge it? Yeah, definitely. I think it’s it’s also the idea of you don’t want to push away bad things. You don’t want to always avoid pain at all costs. Oh, my God. Like, that’s a big thing for me. Like, I think that’s why it’s taken me so long to try to find another job. Yeah, because I just was trying to make myself as comfortable as possible. And that also goes along the lines of being stagnant doing the same thing every day. Even doing the same thing that doesn’t make me feel good every day. Yeah,
Christian Payton 19:46
I actually just had that conversation to add query, which is talking about this actually just talked to my friend about all these things yesterday. I was just talking about that yesterday as far as like, I remember I was going through like a really bad breakup at one point like my very first break And I just like kept like waking up like crying and my mom would like, give me like, she would talk to me, but she would give me like different books to read. And like, I wasn’t reading them. I was like, 17. But I remember she one day she said to me, um, you’re gonna keep, like having the same issue because like, you don’t want to, like deal with the pain, like you want to, like, I just kept accepting, like, mediocre. And she was like, you keep accepting and going back to the situation because like, you don’t want to feel the pain, but that’s literally the healing part. Like the healing comes from the pain. And so I was like, okay, that’s like, really powerful. And I like apply that to my daily life. Well, I try to, like, keep that and like, apply that to my life now. So I was just telling one of my friends yesterday, you the same thing, my mom told me when I was 17, you’re still doing that, because you don’t want to deal with pain. And it’s funny, because he looked at me and he was like, No, that’s true. Like, that’s actually very true. And I think it’s interesting that you just said that, because I feel like that’s the reality for a lot, a lot of people like just doing something over and over and over again, when you know, it’s not good for you, but you’d much rather feel like that, and then actually go through, like, do the hard work. And, like, get to the healing part of whatever it is that you’re going through. Because it’s so uncomfortable. And being stagnant and like living in a state where like, you know what it’s gonna be like, that’s, it’s so comfortable, it’s comforting. It’s that’s distorted. Because you know, that it’s bad for you. It’s like, not good for you at all. But you’d much rather stay in that situation, because you’re comfortable there. Like, you know, like, what it’s gonna be like what it looks like. And that’s, that’s really, really distorted in a way. Not like, that sounds bad. But it’s strange.
Sarah Haines 21:40
I think a lot of the time that we live that out through relationships, yeah, typically, it’s somebody just being really comfortable. The other person not putting enough effort. But then at the same time, it’s like, you don’t want to be with them. But at the same time, they give you that comfort like they know you like yeah, you know, like, you’ll have to start over with someone new and like, open up to another person and have to trust another person. Yeah. And it’s so much easier to not. It’s just about the emotions at the moment. Yeah, we’re so focused on, on, like, how do I feel right now versus like, and just like, again, I was talking to my friend about this yesterday, too. She and I are talking about our boyfriends. And we’re just saying that. Sometimes we think like, we don’t want to react to things right away, because we are both at the age where we’re thinking about long term and not necessarily Oh, marriage, but long term in the idea of, I want this person to always have good feelings about me. And so if I say something hurtful now, even if I ask forgiveness for it, they’ll have to live with what I said, they’ll have to live with what I said. And they may never forget that even if they forgive me. Yeah, there’s some things obviously, like your parents say to you that you know, whether or not they meant it in that way it lives with you, it lives with you, you know, and even sometimes becomes who you think you are.
Christian Payton 22:56
Yeah, I feel like you’re very like intentional with the way that you choose to live your life and you’re like, self aware. And I feel like, at this age, you don’t really get that often. Like, a lot of the times I’m like, You have no idea that you are this way, do you and I just sit back and I’m like, and I just watched and I’m like, This is crazy. Like you really think that it’s this person’s fault. Or you think it’s this person? And I’m like, really? You’re the Okay, that’s like that is? I don’t know, it’s like a breath of fresh air.
Sarah Haines 23:29
Well, it’s like, whenever you’re around people that are like, so accepting of bad behavior. It’s like,
Christian Payton 23:35
Sarah Haines 23:36
I don’t know. Like, I never would have thought this is okay. But yeah,
Christian Payton 23:39
it is. I think it’s becoming like, the norm or accepted. I feel like it’s just most things are just accepted instead of like, no, like, that’s not right. Yeah. So
Sarah Haines 23:51
and that had to do a lot with like, social circles and like your friends are and like, can they accept criticism? You know, or are they so like, insecure in themselves? That everything somebody like anything people say to them, they’re gonna take offense at? Yeah, like, just be like, turn it around. And
Christian Payton 24:09
they’re a victim? Yeah. Oh, that’s interesting. That’s so exciting for me. Super exciting for me.
Sarah Haines 24:15
Well, I kind of feel the same way about you, you definitely seem like you are getting to the point where you’re like, Okay, I want to take care of myself like this, this and this. And that, to me is very, very intentional. Yeah.
Christian Payton 24:25
I mean, it’s been a build up for me. And I could say the same for myself.
Sarah Haines 24:28
And even like, a week, and I’m like, and then I’m back to it. Yeah.
Christian Payton 24:33
And that’s something else this weekend. Terrible, terrible. Like, not necessarily not like terrible, but I was saying that I wasn’t because I prepped my mills. But Friday, when the snow storm hit, I was like, I’m gonna have pizza. So I order pizza and then I think yesterday I ate out again, but I said I was only gonna eat out once and I ate up twice. And so even this morning, I was like, It’s fine. It’s a new week like I messed up last week, but I’ll do better this We and that’s like such a game changer like giving yourself grace, which we also have a podcast on that as well. But just knowing that you’re gonna mess up sometimes, but just like getting back on track, I feel like is a really big part of like taking care of yourself. Not like you should have goals for yourself within, you’re not going to always hit those goals because life happens. So just like getting back up and like starting where you left off instead of like just beating yourself up, and then you have to start all the way over. Because that’s what I would do for a long time. I would say, Okay, well, I’m gonna eat clean, and then I would like eat chicken. And then it’s like, okay, well, I guess I gotta start off. Well, I did back this one time. So I messed up all this work, I might as well just keep eating bad. It’s like, that’s not how that works. And so for a long time, like, I genuinely did not understand that. And it wasn’t until maybe a few months ago, maybe I would say a month ago that I was like, Okay, well, if you mess up, just get back up, and then start where you left off instead of making it harder for yourself. Because ultimately, that’s what you’re doing. You’re making it harder for yourself. So
Sarah Haines 26:07
Well, I think also, if it’s along the lines of like, I messed up, or I failed. It’s so much easier to just be like, Oh, I can’t do this. Yeah, like, I just can’t. And then from there, you know, it’s easier to give up. But it’s also like, realizing that it’s like, again, taking that cloud and then like letting it go. i Yeah, like, Oh, I didn’t want to do this this week. Alright, I’ll just be this week’s goal. Yeah. And it’s also like I didn’t, yeah, again, I didn’t mess up because I didn’t reach my goal. I just didn’t push hard. I didn’t like not push hard enough. But I just didn’t quite reach it. It’ll just Yeah. Future looking at the future.
Christian Payton 26:44
No, yeah, that’s, um, so this year, I didn’t write down new year’s resolutions. But I, I did something different because people always say, and I believe this, that like you are what you consume. So is that if that’s like food, TV music, like you become like what you are listening to? Yeah, so instead of like, and I usually don’t even make New Year’s resolutions, because I know that I won’t ever stick with them. But this year, I was like, very intentional. And I did something different. So I recorded myself, like talking out loud to myself, like saying what I want out of the year for me. And so now I just listened to it constantly. Because if you’re listening to what you’re, you can become what you want to become like, if you can, if you can apply what you’re if you become what, what am I trying to say? If you are if you become what you consume, listening to like other people, you can apply that same thing to your life and speak like positively to yourself. So that was pretty much my whole mindset when I decided to record myself talking to myself. But I listened to it constantly. And something that I said was pretty much I think a lot of the times, I felt like, when hard times would happen. Or whenever I would just go through like struggles, I would get upset and then obviously like that’s to be expected. But even I corrected myself in the in the recording because I said, I’m not gonna let or what did I say? I always try to quote stuff and then I mess it up. Like not let yourself get hurt or something or it was something like that. But then I had to correct myself in the middle of me talking because I’m like, no stuff like that happens. You just can’t stay there. Like, like, you’re gonna g